All of the following quotes are taken from the book A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain, by Marilee Strong.
Shawnee Smith read this book during the filming of Saw III and requested changes be made to the script so Amanda would feel more real. I've paired quotes from the book with screenshots and lines from the film to illustrate exactly where and how Shawnee allowed her research to influence her portrayal of Amanda Young.
...The only negative feelings she has about what she's doing to herself is her complete lack of remorse—"like a serial killer who knows he should feel guilty about that line of bodies he's left behind."
For it is anger that drives [her] cutting. For almost any kind of negative feeling—fear, frustration, sadness, abandonment—cascades quickly into a rage so intense she likens it to a volcano exploding or being knocked over by a tidal wave.
"I hated myself. I hated my parents. I couldn't talk to anyone. So I cut and cut and cut." Yet the relief it provided was only temporary, and ultimately hollow. She could never cut "deep enough"—down to the impenetrable blackness, the pitiless void—to release all the rage and emptiness inside her. "I will always have to cut more because the pit is endless," she says mournfully.
Through the act of self-mutilation. . .cutters have "acted out all the familiar roles from childhood: the abandoned child, the physically damaged patient, the abused victim, the (dissociated) witness to violence and self-destructiveness, and finally, the aggressive attacker."
"Although self-harm results from a failure to resist an impulse, people with this disorder may . . . go through a ritualistic series of behaviors, such as tracing areas of their skin, and compulsively putting their self-harm paraphernalia in order."
Cutting bouts are generally precipitated by an experience—real or perceived— of loss or abandonment. Self-injurers are acutely sensitive to abandonment. Because they never properly attached to and then separated from their early caretakers, they live in a perpetual state of separation anxiety so intense it feels annihilating.
Their sense of themselves and the ability to control their lives has been dictated so much by external events that they believe their very existence depends on how others perceive them.
...Cutters often have an extremely short "time horizon." When overwhelmed with negative emotions, they believe that they have always felt this bad, and cannot imagine feeling better twenty minutes or twenty years from now. "So life is very much lived in the here and now and often it's lived without any history," he explains. "If they're feeling rejected or abused by someone, any memory of that person as a caring individual is lost."
The question of whether cutting is actually addictive, however, is highly controversial. Most chronic self-mutilators think it is and insist that alcohol, drugs, sex...are easier to give up than self-harm.
Cutting is a way of marking the body's boundaries, of proving what's inside and what's outside the body. One self-injurer, chronically abused by her father, was so confused about where she ended and others began that she had to place a chair between her therapist and herself during sessions in order to recognize that they were two separate people.
Because the sensitivity of cutters to perceived threats is altered and is, in effect, set to "hair trigger" response, many events that would be considered relatively minor by other people automatically trigger the emotionally loaded memories and the simultaneous flood of stress hormones.
"Dissociation, self-destructiveness, and impulsive behavior may all prove to be hormonally mediated responses that are triggered by reminders of earlier trauma and abandonment."
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A BRIGHT RED SCREAM
Shawnee Smith read this book during the filming of Saw III and requested changes be made to the script so Amanda would feel more real. I've paired quotes from the book with screenshots and lines from the film to illustrate exactly where and how Shawnee allowed her research to influence her portrayal of Amanda Young.
no subject
...The only negative feelings she has about what she's doing to herself is her complete lack of remorse—"like a serial killer who knows he should feel guilty about that line of bodies he's left behind."
no subject
For it is anger that drives [her] cutting. For almost any kind of negative feeling—fear, frustration, sadness, abandonment—cascades quickly into a rage so intense she likens it to a volcano exploding or being knocked over by a tidal wave.
no subject
"I hated myself. I hated my parents. I couldn't talk to anyone. So I cut and cut and cut." Yet the relief it provided was only temporary, and ultimately hollow. She could never cut "deep enough"—down to the impenetrable blackness, the pitiless void—to release all the rage and emptiness inside her. "I will always have to cut more because the pit is endless," she says mournfully.
no subject
Through the act of self-mutilation. . .cutters have "acted out all the familiar roles from childhood: the abandoned child, the physically damaged patient, the abused victim, the (dissociated) witness to violence and self-destructiveness, and finally, the aggressive attacker."
no subject
"Although self-harm results from a failure to resist an impulse, people with this disorder may . . . go through a ritualistic series of behaviors, such as tracing areas of their skin, and compulsively putting their self-harm paraphernalia in order."
no subject
Cutting bouts are generally precipitated by an experience—real or perceived— of loss or abandonment. Self-injurers are acutely sensitive to abandonment. Because they never properly attached to and then separated from their early caretakers, they live in a perpetual state of separation anxiety so intense it feels annihilating.
no subject
Their sense of themselves and the ability to control their lives has been dictated so much by external events that they believe their very existence depends on how others perceive them.
no subject
...Cutters often have an extremely short "time horizon." When overwhelmed with negative emotions, they believe that they have always felt this bad, and cannot imagine feeling better twenty minutes or twenty years from now. "So life is very much lived in the here and now and often it's lived without any history," he explains. "If they're feeling rejected or abused by someone, any memory of that person as a caring individual is lost."
no subject
At the moment of cutting, self-injurers feel no pain and are generally oblivious to their surroundings. Some are not even aware of the act itself...
no subject
The question of whether cutting is actually addictive, however, is highly controversial. Most chronic self-mutilators think it is and insist that alcohol, drugs, sex...are easier to give up than self-harm.
no subject
Cutting is a way of marking the body's boundaries, of proving what's inside and what's outside the body. One self-injurer, chronically abused by her father, was so confused about where she ended and others began that she had to place a chair between her therapist and herself during sessions in order to recognize that they were two separate people.
no subject
Because the sensitivity of cutters to perceived threats is altered and is, in effect, set to "hair trigger" response, many events that would be considered relatively minor by other people automatically trigger the emotionally loaded memories and the simultaneous flood of stress hormones.
"Dissociation, self-destructiveness, and impulsive behavior may all prove to be hormonally mediated responses that are triggered by reminders of earlier trauma and abandonment."